Tarrant's Tub Tribulations
by Niphuria
Summary: When Alice returns home unexpectedly she catches Tarrant in the bathtub doing something...odd.


I don't own Alice in Wonderland or any of its characters. Based on the 2010 Tim Burton film.

Rated M for explicit adult content.

When Alice returns home unexpectedly she catches Tarrant in the bathtub doing something...odd.

**Tarrant's Tub Tribulations**

Tarrant took an armful of his lovely creations for Alice to the Wardrobe Room and gently laid the items atop the dresser. He went to one of the wardrobes and opened it. He smiled in pride. Alice now had a rapidly expanding wardrobe. He saw the skirts and blouses he had already made for her ranging from comfortable and casual to more formal. Below them on a low shelf were the slippers, pumps, and half boots he had lovingly made for her in various colours and of both leather and fabrics.

Tarrant then took several more blouses and skirts from the dresser and placed them in the wardrobe for Alice. She would be pleased. She had said she'd like more skirts and blouses. Today he had made her three; one pale green, one purple, and one blue. Oh, yes, he also took two skirts from the dresser and placed them inside. One was a cornflower blue to match her eyes and he took great pleasure in adding some silver threading in it to compliment the silver that shone in her eyes these days whenever they made love. The other was a sage green that he saw her admire when she visited him in his home Work Shop several days ago.

Tarrant then went to her formal Wardrobe and opened it and admired the five elaborate dresses inside. He always did his very best on every garment or accessory he ever made, but somehow he felt his ones for Alice were his absolute finest. She had dresses appropriate for the most formal of royal balls to slightly less formal tea parties. And the slippers inside were all accessorized by either a tiny flower or a bow on each one to make it as dainty as Alice's pretty little feet. The half boots were of varying colours and were easy to take on and off as he had used ribbon laces instead of the countless buttons that Alice hated.

He placed inside a gorgeous pale pink dress that was accented with burgundy. It had elaborate draping and bustling and he made it for Alice to wear to the Queen's upcoming Unbirthday celebration. He knew Alice would adore it.

Tarrant turned to the last items on the dresser. Where to hide these? He had also completed a pair of white lace-up bridal boots and a pair of the sheerest silk and lace gloves he could manage. They were exquisite. But since he didn't want Alice to know that he planned to propose soon he would have to conceal these somewhere while he secretly worked on a lavish gown for her. He knew that Alice wouldn't mind. He just felt that she would be honoured if he made her such a special gown for her himself.

It never occurred to Tarrant that she would refuse him. Well, it did, actually, on occasion, but he would resolutely quell the thought. They loved each other. Deeply. And if he continued to prepare for the event he couldn't dwell on the possibility that she would refuse his upcoming marriage proposal. He already had an engagement ring for her and even a wedding band. But these he carefully hid away in Queen Mirana's own jewelry collection. She was in on the planning of the "Big Event" as she called it and insisted that she would obtain a necklace for Alice herself as a personal gift.

Tarrant finally decided that until he could take the items to Queen Mirana tomorrow he would hide the shoes and gloves in a hat box. Since there were dozens all over the place they would surely remain hidden from Alice for one day.

Good. He was done. Now what? He suddenly sneezed. Oh, yes. He was always dirty and covered with threads and fibers and dust after working.

A bath. Yes, a bath sounded good. Especially in their new luxurious bathing chamber. Oh, what fun! And there were still lots and lots of soaps and salts that he and Alice hadn't even had a chance to try out yet!

Giggling, Tarrant stripped on his way to the chamber, shedding clothing pieces on his way, only stopping for his trousers and underwear and then continued on. He was in such a hurry that he hopped while removing his shoes and socks and dropped them in the doorway.

Too bad Alice wasn't home, he mused, or he would entice her to bathe with him. Well, normally she didn't need much enticing. No, his sweetling enjoyed bathing with him. That was, of course, unless he was unusually dirty. Well, was it his fault that when he gathered herbs that sometimes the flowers would scoop up mud and fling it all over him? Well, he did tease them constantly for their gossiping, but was that a reason for mud flinging?

Humming, Tarrant selected a bottle of peppermint scented soap.

Alice was amazed. A slow day at the castle? It was a rare day indeed when Alice only had a few letters to write and that was all. She could leave? Well, she was finished. And Queen Mirana did not set hours for her or Tarrant. When they were finished with their jobs they were dismissed. Simple.

Well, home she would go. She knew that Tarrant had left early today as well. He would be delighted to see her. She had seen his face fall when he left for home without her. It wasn't uncommon for her to be a little later coming home, but not later by hours. And they had both expected her to put in a full day while Tarrant had put in less than half.

Alice smiled and left her office. Tarrant would be so surprised! She would pick up a pie from the kitchen and surprise him with it. Thackery was baking one of his favourites, peach pies. Oh, Tarrant would be surprised and delighted!

"Ah, Alice, sweetling, why do you have to work so late? I miss you!" Tarrant mused as he sat in the tub. He was lounging in the sweet-smelling water and was resting his head and neck on a plush towel on the edge of the tub. Then he remembered that he had already washed his face and hair so he leaned over and grasped his hat and placed it on his wet head. There. Now we was fine.

Except that he wasn't. He was in the tub alone. He didn't like taking baths alone. He was used to taking them with Alice now. His beautiful, sweet, affectionate, loving, sexy, erotic, deliciously naughty, wicked thinking little...

"Stop it!" he said loudly. "Stop thinking of her, you mad fool! She's not here! This isn't the time!"

Or was it? Well, why not? He hadn't needed to...well...pleasure himself ever since Alice returned to him. And while she was away he had become especially good at it. All he'd need to do was picture her in...anything, really, and he was good to go. Actually, if he was being honest with himself he'd picture her in **nothing. **

Yes, a naked Alice looking lovingly at him with her big blue eyes and tousled golden hair, and her lush lips slightly moist and parted for him. Just for him. And then he'd...

He'd be in the state he was suddenly in now. An extremely uncomfortable state. He looked down and saw his enormous erection with its white shaft and lavender tip through the pink water. Oh, bother!

Well, no bother, actually. He could take care of that. All by himself. Since Alice wasn't here what else could he do? Suffer with it? His sweetling wouldn't want him to suffer. If she were with him she'd lean over, creamy breasts swaying gently, her tiny pebble-hard nipples brushing across his knees, and give him a passionate open-mouthed kiss. He'd breathe in her lavender scented hair and her unique Alice-smell.

Without even realising it Tarrant grasped his penis with one hand and began to stroke it. He placed his other hand beneath the base and lightly caressed his scrotum.

"Ah, sweetling, like that," he murmured, beginning a nice, slow pumping motion.

Alice placed the pie on the kitchen table. Then she went to the wardrobe room and removed her boots and socks. Then she paused. Where was Tarrant? She was near enough to his Work Room that she should have heard him at his craft. He certainly was not a quiet worker. And she had already been in the kitchen, and passed through the living room and past the bedroom to here.

"Tarrant?" she called. "Tarrant? I'm home! Where are you?"

She paused and listened intently.

She almost gave up listening when she heard the barest whisper of a voice. "Ah, yes, like that!"

It was Tarrant.

"Like what?" Alice mused. She headed toward the sound of his voice. Just as she reached the bathing chamber she saw Tarrant's shoes and socks in the doorway. Then she heard him more clearly.

"Ah, sweetlin', yeh rally new haw te please ah man!"

What! Alice moved closer and cautiously peered inside. Tarrant was in one of the large tubs, facing her sideways, his head lolling back on a plush towel, eyes closed and his hat beside the tub. The water was moving furiously. Alice's eyes grew larger as she crept a tiny bit closer.

He was! Tarrant was using his hands...down there! He was caressing himself and behaving as if she was in the tub with him!

Suddenly Tarrant lifted himself as if his body had gone rigid of its own accord. "Och, lassie! Yes! Lak tha', lak tha', din nae stop neh! Och, Alice!"

Tarrant reached orgasm and Alice saw himself slow his stroking and his eyes opened and they were green flecked with gold. The colour of intense passion.

Oh, my! This was...too much! Alice gasped without intending to, and Tarrant's head snapped in her direction.

"Sweetlin'!" he cried out. He quickly snatched his hat and held it over himself as it that would keep Alice from knowing what he'd just done. Then he leapt from the tub and fell onto the floor, water sloshing everywhere. He dropped his hat and frantically tried to scrabble to his feet but he kept slipping and sliding like a fawn on ice.

Alice stood frozen to the spot for a long moment, mouth agape and eyes the largest they had ever been. Then she turned and ran to the bedroom. Once inside she slammed the door shut and latched it.

What was he doing? Wasn't that...wrong? If not, then why did he need to...without her? Was it his Madness? She never heard of men doing such things. Was this something peculiar to men or just to Tarrant?

Then what she had known would happen, did. He knocked on the bedroom door.

"Sweetlin'? Alice?"

"I'm not here! I mean," she gasped, "I mean, I'm here, but...go away! I need to...to...brush my hair!" She cringed. That was a feeble excuse.

"Sweetlin', opin th' der! It's...It's all righ'. I wan' te explin!"

Alice was silent. Well, what was she so afraid of? Of course, Tarrant had been doing something quite odd, but should that frighten her so?

"Very well," she said quietly. She opened the door.

Tarrant was wearing one of her robes and his long, long legs looked stork-like. She knew he had just grabbed the first one he saw. They stared at each other in silence. Tarrant's eyes were slightly yellow with anxiety and Alice's were undoubtedly still large. But then she appraised his pale, muscled legs in the extremely too-short robe and began to giggle.

Tarrant's eyes widened, and then he saw what she was looking at and cackled madly for a few moments before stifling himself with his own hand. After all, he came to reassure Alice, not frighten her.

"Ah, sweetling," he began, the brogue disappearing with his effort to keep her calm, "what ye, I mean, what you saw in there...it's nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going Mad if that's what you're thinking."

"But what were you doing? I beg your pardon; I mean, _why_ were you doing what you were doing? Is it just you, or do all men..." Her words were tumbling out in a rush.

For once, Tarrant had to silence her. He held a finger to her lips.

"Hush, dear heart. Just listen to me."

Alice nodded and he smiled gently.

"I now realise that you have no idea of what you saw. Well, not much, at any rate. I...um...well, firstly, it's not just me. It's common for men to...relieve themselves when they are pained with desire and their lady isn't present."

"What? Really? All men?" Alice asked, wondering if her eyes were still as large as they felt.

"Yes, sweetling, all men. I'm pretty sure all men. You see, I got home ahead of you and went to work. But then I needed a bath and when I got into the tub I began to think of you and then..." He broke off, his white cheeks blushing crimson. "I...ah...began to imagine that you were with me as you usually are, and then..."

Alice smiled gently now, feeling less nervous.

"And then you imagined us together and your body prepared for something that I wasn't here to help you with?"

"Yes, exactly. So I had to take the problem in hand and..." he paused and giggled when he realised what he had just said while Alice blushed and looked down. "I had to use my hands to relieve myself. So, Alice, are you all right? Do you understand? Are you still afraid? Even a little?"

Alice swallowed hard, but she nodded. She did understand. And when she thought about it, it didn't seem so bad or frightening. It was just unfamiliar.

"Yes, Tarrant, I do understand, and no, I'm not frightened. I just don't know how I've gone so long without knowing of such things."

Tarrant let out a relieved sigh. He stepped closer to her and was pleased when she didn't flinch away from him. He leaned in towards her neck and Alice remained perfectly still. His breath whispered across the base of her throat and the tops of her breasts. She shivered and he smiled and placed an open-mouthed kiss at the top of her bosom.

Alice shivered in delight and tentatively wove her fingers through the moist curls at the base of his neck. She was gratified when she felt gooseflesh arise

"Ah, sweetling, even now I want you!" Tarrant panted against her throat.

"Oh, but you can't have me!" Alice said coquettishly. "You've already...spent yourself!"

"Oh, I can find ways to pleasure us both," he said. "Just come back to the bath with me, sweetling, and you'll see, you will!"

"No, I don't think..."

But Tarrant had grasped her hand and was now pulling her towards the bathing chamber. He paused at the filled tub, then shook his head.

"No, a bit old and cooled off now. Let me start a new one."

"Tarrant, really, I don't think..."

He kissed her into silence. When he knew she wouldn't interrupt him he drew back slightly.

"Sweetling, we are going to take a bath. Together. And then I'm going to pleasure you. And then you will pleasure me. And then we will pleasure each other. And then I will teach you how to pleasure yourself!"

"What!" Alice gasped so forcefully that she began to cough.

Tarrant grinned and patted her gently on the back.

"You heard me, sweetling. Now, let's get those intrusive clothes off of you..."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this time with Alice and Tarrant. I'm not accustomed to writing this type of story so I hope I did all right. All comments are welcome.


End file.
